10 Thoughts

I’ve been in a bit of a rut when it comes to writing, so I decided to write about ten random thoughts I’ve had recently. Easy stuff, right?

  1. My periwinkle hair dye came in last night. Expect some hair thangz coming up in the near future.
  2. I can’t sleep for more than 6 hours when it’s over 90 degrees during the day. Debated on buying an AC unit, but it’s now the beginning of fall, and plus, I’ll be moving in a couple of months (hopefully!). But man, it’s been a terrible two months when it comes to sleep. 
  3. I’ve disconnected myself from social media as much as I could. I’ve cut down my usage and am now trying to retrain my brain into picking up a book instead. It’s crazy how checking our phone whenever we have downtime has become second nature for us. It’s such a bad habit, and I’m not proud of it.
  4. My creative goal for this month is to try and do an ink drawing every day. Just to note, I am not following the Inktober themes, nor will I be using that hashtag, due to the founder’s scandal of plagiarizing Alphonso Dunn’s book. 
  5. Since the beginning of quarantine back in early March, I made it a mission to use up my extensive collection of new and half-used beauty products. I’m at the point where my collection has finally dwindled down significantly, and I’m quite proud of myself. I am now a lot less impulsive when it comes to buying products and only make purchases when I need a replacement. It’s crazy how much marketing goes into the newest products being ‘must-haves.’ At the end of the day, the variance between these products isn’t considerable enough to have them all. Especially since there’s an expiration date on beauty products, it’s just impossible to use everything up before then.
  6. Last month, I started drinking during the weeknights. It was mostly out of stress, even though I told myself it was to ‘wind down’ after a long day at work. It was never more than two drinks a night. But man, it’s crazy how bad alcohol is in general for my lifestyle. Even one drink messed with my sleeping habits. Not to mention when I’m buzzed, I just wasn’t motivated to do anything. It soon became a domino effect: the lack of sleep would make me skip my workouts, putting me in a bad mood. And being drunk caused me to have the attention span of a goldfish. All I could do was scroll and tap and click. It’s okay to have those days once a while, where you just unwind and do nothing – that can be a form of self-care. But to have so many nights like that in a row reminded me of my past. The one where I went on auto-pilot with no concrete plan, and soon enough, months and years flew by. Once I caught myself, I decided to stick with only drinking during the weekends. It’s been so much better since.
  7. Comparison really is the thief of joy. It’s a mindset I’m still trying to change. It’s hard because sometimes you’ll be looking for inspo for art, and when you come across something beautiful, you can’t help but compare your work to it. It can be motivating, but oftentimes, I find myself in a rabbit hole where I’m berating myself for letting myself go. “I could’ve been like them if I didn’t stop,” I would tell myself. It’s pointless and toxic telling myself that though since I can’t go back in time. The only comparison I should be making is between my previous work and the newest work. As long as I put in the work, I can be happy and move forward.
  8. I’d been feeling stagnant about my career for over a year. I’m now happy to say that it’s subsided for the time being. I realized I’ve been learning a lot the past few months, more so than I had in a while, and have been feeling pretty good about it.
  9. I miss the diary-like posts. From myself, from others. When we didn’t need to really think about what we were putting out into the world. I’m going to try to do more of them because I feel like it’s at least been helpful for me to decompress.
  10. I’ve been wearing more lip color since quarantine, and it’s been lovely as well. My favorite as of late is the Buxom lip liner called ‘Covert Affair.’ 

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