Thought Dump

We are closing in on month seven soon. It’s crazy how quickly the month has flown by, even though it feels like I’ve made zero new memories. The only standout thing I can recall is spending the majority of my free time making art. Less than a week into it, I wondered why it had taken me so long to start again. I felt alive. I didn’t work on it every day, but when I did, I would lose myself. Hours would go by without my energy faltering. I knew without a doubt that I had reached flow state. The tightness that’s been constricting me since March finally started to waver. This got me contemplating how the hours of my days were being allocated.

Once I mapped out my hours, I had a bit of an awakening (excuse how New Age I just sounded, haha). Like most people, work took up the majority of my time. My attitude towards work for the longest time was that MOST people are not doing what they loved for their 9-5’s, and that’s just how it is. I want to add that I enjoy most parts of my job and am extremely lucky to work with amazing coworkers on a product that I’m proud to be a part of. But the bottom line is, I don’t love it. 

I enjoy it on most days, and most importantly, it pays the bills with enough put some aside for fun and savings. It almost felt too greedy of me to proclaim, “But I want to LOVE what I’m doing.” I figured most people were on the same boat as me: living for the weekends and dreaming about doing other things. 

This wasn’t a healthy way to view my job. This ambivalence holds me back from doing my best work, which is unfair to myself and my coworkers. So then came two changes: finding ways to make my job enjoyable again while re-discovering what had gotten me excited enough to take on a new career trajectory four years back. Basically, I committed to shifting my mindset. I didn’t want to be on auto-pilot and have years fly by while staying stagnant and going absolutely nowhere. 

This then led me to thinking about side hustles. I used to (and still do) think of people with side hustles as real entrepreneurs. It takes a particular sort of tenacity and grit for someone to want to put in hours after working their 9-5 without the guarantee of any return. I just didn’t think I had it in me to be that disciplined, hardworking, etc. Hell, I was partying away most of my free time away (pre-COVD) if I’m being honest. Working after work did not sound appealing to me. My brain is so fried on most days that I couldn’t imagine doing more. But I realized I had it all wrong. 

People with side hustles do them because they’re passionate about it. Yes, if it goes well, you’ll earn that extra income. But it takes a lot of determination and sacrifice to get there. Almost nobody starts earning enough money overnight to just quit their day job, despite how much entrepreneur influencers (I can’t believe this is a thing) tell you it’s as easy as doing these three steps (find out more in their e-course, only a single payment of $59!). Despite this, I’ve really been inspired lately by reading about others, especially women who truly hustled hard to get to where they are today. People who created a life that they wanted. And in the end, a lot of them were able to turn their passion into a full-time career. 

Anyways, I’ll wrap things up now because I’m starting to wander off into too many tangents lol. If you made it this far, thanks for listening to my rambling. I’m not sure how coherent any of this was, but it was therapeutic being able to dump this all before the workday lol.

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