Another Beginning

Hello, old friend. Yes, it really is me.

Trying my hand at the same old thing, fired up by yet another bout of inspiration. What better time to resurrect an idea from the ashes than six months into a global pandemic?

I had been toying with the idea of creating a digital space for my musings for quite some time now; a place for my photos, art, favorite music, outfits, random thoughts, etc., to live. It took about a year and a half before the idea finally came into fruition as Alice in Muse. You can think of this as my in-progress mood board, reflecting my current state of mind.

Although I had been itching to create for some time, I held off on this project due to fear of judgment and not being good enough. Two very familiar fears that have been driving humankind since the beginning of time. There was also the fear of abandoning yet another project that I had initially started up so vehemently (I really want to blame this on being a Gemini but honestly, it’s still my problem regardless if you believe in astrology or not).

I would consider myself to be an extremely private person and am constantly deleting what I put out on my social media accounts (not because of maintaining an ‘aesthetic’ feed), which I guess goes against the whole purpose of it. It is already hard enough for me to open up to my friends (almost none of them know about this blog), how was I supposed to put myself out to be judged by the vastness of the internet? On top of that, I’ve always had an issue with committing long term to anything. The possibility of me losing that initial feeling of newness and abandoning this project after 5 posts seemed very real to me. My solution to this is having a few close friends as accountability buddies but I would be lying if I said this fear wasn’t still lingering on my mind.

Despite these fears, the urge to launch this project was still strong, evident in my many journaling sessions. I am still struggling with being more vulnerable on a day to day basis but hope that this blog can help me take those baby steps towards becoming a braver person. Remembering that growth rarely happens in the comfort zone was what gave me the push to finally purchase this website domain.

Alice in Muse is composed of pieces of me, serving as a digital looking glass to remember and reflect upon. It also serves as a space for me to push myself and show that I CAN commit long term to something and to use my free time on creative projects instead of falling into another mindless scrolling session. If you had made it this far, I hope this blog can cultivate some inspiration for you to create for yourself despite whatever reservations you may also have. Because nothing else has made me feel as alive as when I began to create again.

So here it is, to another new beginning.

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